Adrift
by arainymonday
Summary: Len is afraid to close his eyes. If he drifts again, he might wake up and find Barry gone. Written for Coldflash Week 2016, Day Seven: Domestic Life


**Title:** Adrift **  
Rating:** PG-13 **  
Warnings:** none **  
Pairings:** Barry/Len **  
Spoilers:** none

* * *

 **Adrift**

Len lays back against the thin pillow, closes his eyes, and slips adrift. When he opens his eyes, there's a warm presence aligned along his body. Barry's smile is warm as sunshine. He strokes the stubble along Len's jaw. At the end of the bed, his socked feet tangle with Len's as shifts closer.

"I didn't get a chance to shave today," Len says.

"It's okay. It's manly. I like it."

The way he says "manly" is ridiculous. He deepens his voice and pulls some face that's a parody of machismo. Len's laugh is silent, but present on his lips and in his eyes. This is the only time he ever laughs. Barry dips his head and presses their lips together. It's chaste and tender. The only tender touches Len can remember are Barry's. He runs his fingers through Barry's silky hair.

"I'm glad you could join me."

The bedroom is washed out in light. The furniture and possessions scattered around are mere suggestions on the fringes of the halo surrounding Barry. There must be a lot of books somewhere since Barry is a college student. Clothes from stores like Aeropostale that Len has never set foot inside of. He can't see any of that, and he doesn't mind very much. As long as Barry is defined, everything is all right.

"I like making time for you," Barry answers. "Today is so busy and stressful. I have two midterms, plus a presentation."

"Do you need to go?"

"No, that's what I'm saying. I need to stay with you for awhile."

Len feels warmth, not on skin, but inside his chest. Barry lowers himself onto the bed fully, one arm and leg thrown over Len, and head nestled next to Len's on the pillow. Len is afraid to close his eyes. If he drifts again, he might wake up and find Barry gone. But he's so content here, so relaxed and safe.

"How are you?" Barry asks. Len's sharp breath is answer enough. "I'm so sorry. We'll stay here all afternoon."

"You can't do that. You have midterms and a presentation, and I have ... things too."

"I could join you for once."

"No," Len says sharply.

"It wouldn't be the worst thing, Len. I could see my -"

"No. Final answer."

Barry's fingers move softly over Len's shoulder. His toes wiggle against Len's ankle. The tension melts out of his body, and when it does, Barry presses a light kiss to his neck.

"Will you come back tonight?" Barry's voice is breathy, nervous.

"Yeah," Len says. "Late. Around two. Is that okay?"

"Perfect timing. I have another midterm tomorrow. You'll be an excellent distraction from studying."

"I aim to please."

Barry's light laughter disappears into Len's skin where he drops another kiss. It feels so good and real that Len almost forgets that it isn't, that he's adrift. He almost forgets where he really is. It's the best and worst part about being with Barry.

"Am I hearing what I think I am?" Barry asks.

The heavy treads of footsteps, blaring alarm, metallic clanking invades the washed out bedroom. He nods. Barry props himself up on his elbow and leans down for a farewell kiss.

"I'll see you tonight. I love you."

"I love you," Len replies, just in time.

"Snart, let's go! Yard time."

The brash call of the prison guard stuns him back to himself. The warmth of the sunlit bedroom and Barry pressed alongside him recedes like a shadow passing overhead in autumn. What was once warm and tolerable is cold and lonely. Len climbs into his feet and follows the sea of blue jumpsuits out of the concrete prison and into the concrete yard.

When he's alone in a far corner, he pulls up the sleeve of his jumpsuit and brushes his thumb along the black lines of his soulmate mark. For just a second, he catches a glimpse of a classroom, the top of a desk, and a complex chemical equation written out in Barry's handwriting.

"Are you here?" Barry asks.

Fourteen months is a long time, but he has to wait it out. He didn't think he had anyone on the outside except Lisa when he started his sentence, but now he's got an eighteen-year-old soulmate with a bright future. He has to stay put. He has to not ruin what Barry has given him.

"Not really," Len thinks in reply. "Just wanted to feel you with me for a second."

Barry's response is a feeling as complicated as the chemical equation, but this formula Len understands. Warmth, loneliness, contentedness, longing, love.


End file.
